The weight of the experience crept on me like a fast rushing wave. I thought I could handle it, but it swallowed me. That hollow, sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach. The voice inside of me wanting to break everything in my life to match how I was feeling. The disbelief. I’d been scammed. Not in some dramatic, Hollywood kind of way, but in a subtle, manipulative way that left me feeling incredibly foolish and, more than anything, vulnerable.
For a while, that vulnerability felt unreal. I walked through each day denying it was that bad, but I was really wrapped up in this feeling. I replayed the conversations in my head, dissecting every word, every interaction. How could I have been so naive? How could I have missed the red flags? Did I convince myself into trusting him? The self-blame was a relentless tide, threatening to pull me under. I felt ashamed, embarrassed, and utterly exposed. Like I’d let down not just myself, but everyone who believed in me. I'd felt like I'd lost all hope to accomplish my goals.
It made me want to curl up and hide. To abandon the project I’d been so passionate about, the goals I’d been working towards. The scammer, in his insidious way, had not just stolen money, but also my confidence, my drive, my very sense of capability. He had chipped away at the belief I had in myself.
For a few days, I allowed myself to wallow, but the days turned into weeks. I followed all the protocols of contacting local and federal authorities, reaching out to specialists, and more, but the reality is Scams are so rampant; each organization, either said, we don't have the resources to really help with that, or that they were so overwhelmed by the # of responses that it would be a while. So what do you do? I think it’s important to acknowledge the pain, to truly feel the sting of such a violation. Denying it wouldn’t make it disappear. But I also knew that staying in that place of victimhood wouldn’t serve me or anyone else. It was time to find a way to rise above it.
The first step, strangely, was admitting it. Not just to myself but to a close friend. Confessing that I’d been fooled, that I felt vulnerable, was incredibly difficult. The fear of judgment loomed large. But when I finally uttered the words, the weight lifted, just a little. The simple act of sharing my experience took away some of its power. His empathy and understanding helped me release some of the power of the experience.
From there, I took another small step: I started to educate myself. I researched different types of scams, learning about the techniques used to manipulate people. Understanding the mechanics of the situation helped to detach myself from the personal shame. I had sought out various professionals, well known people, and overall just found more scammers, and the reality that I needed to change how I think. I realized that it wasn't a reflection of my worth, but a testament to the sophistication of the con. It empowered me. Knowledge, I discovered, is a potent tool against victimhood.
Then, I focused on what I could control. I refused to let this experience define me or derail my ambitions. My goals, the reasons why I started this journey in the first place, were still valid. They were still worth fighting for. I focused on the small steps it takes to get to where I desire, and just pushed myself to see that hitting my goal is a journey, not a straight line. If I can't deal with 1 setback, big or small, how would I reach my goal. So, I dusted off my plans, adjusted my budget, and got back to work.
It wasn't easy. There were days when the vulnerability crept back, when the fear of being tricked again would resurface. But this time, I had tools to help me cope. I learned to trust my gut, to ask questions, and to seek advice before making big decisions. I built a stronger support system, surrounding myself with people who were both encouraging and honest. I also forgave myself for being a trusting person. Don't penalize yourself for having the personality that you have.
The experience, as painful as it was, taught me some invaluable lessons. It forced me to find my inner strength, accept more of my perfect imperfections, and to dig deep and discover resilience I didn't know I possessed. It taught me the importance of vulnerability and the healing power of self acceptance.
Now, months later, I’m not completely unscathed, but I’m stronger. The scam is a defining moment, but not a disabling part of my story; it's a reminder of how far I’ve come, and where I'm headed. It doesn’t hold me back; it fuels me. It reminds me that setbacks are a part of life, and that true victory lies not in avoiding them, but in how we ride the wave. Feel the pain, reflect on what you appreciate about the experience, and keep creating opportunities for yourselves.
If you’re reading this and have experienced something similar, know you are not alone. You are not foolish. You are capable of overcoming this. Acknowledge the pain, learn from it, and then, and this is the most important part, take back your power. Your goals are still worthy, and you are powerful enough to achieve them. I did, and so can you.
It's very easy to just give up, stay angry at the world, or even worse. . . . Use that pain to fuel your journey
EVERYTHING you need is in YOU to succeed.
I want to leave a couple of thoughts with you as you reflect on your personal experiences.
What is your mindset? Do you feel like the victim, or do you use an abundance mindset?
Do you act passively like everything is happening to you, or are you an active participant - you make things happen.
Take charge of your situations.
If you've ever felt vulnerable, been a victim of a scam, or can relate to what I've posted, add a comment below.
If you'd like to change how you deal with your challenges in life, be it with family, money, health challenges, bullying, failing and more, email me in the subject line "I WANT TO PROSPER", and let's chat about helping you become AMAZING.
Thanks for reading my blog and share this with anyone you think this could help.
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